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[updated 12/24/08 10:30pm]
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Hi. My name is Donna. I am a post-operative transsexual woman. Actually, I am many, many things but the thing that I think tends to make me somewhat unique is my gender struggle. It has been an incredible journey. I've learned so much about myself, about people in general, and about the world in which we live that I often find a need to share. I'd like to use my little piece of internet "turf" to share my story, my thoughts, and my perspective on trans, on gender, and on anything in between....
So many people seem to focus on the outdated perception that to be transsexual is simply about sex or gender - to become a man or a woman. Perhaps not surprisingly, many find this so far outside of their comprehension as to become unimaginable, unacceptable, unforgivable. A turning point in my own journey occurred after one of those "A-ha!" moments when everything suddenly seemed to make sense - when the realization struck me that it wasn't just about gender. It was about "self". This profoundly personal journey of fulfillment - that I neither asked for nor really wanted - was to become myself. The fact that gender - specifically the affect that it has on my interaction with the world and my perception of myself in it - was the key to unlock the door to my own personal sense of happiness is merely a component in that quest. It took a long, long time for me to understand that.
I no longer spend days feeling sorry for myself, lamenting that this happened to me. I no longer view it as something "bad" in my life. If anything, it has become a gift. It has provided a new appreciation for so many things. It has provided a unique and valuable sense of perspective. It has provided a sense of wholeness that I had never imagined attaining. More than anything, this website is a celebration of that gift.
The fact that I feel free to write about this topic, in a world that seems to view transsexuals as delusional freaks, perverts, or worse - is testament to just how far I have come on my journey. I spent my entire life struggling to hide any hint of the confusion and frustration that brewed below the seemingly tranquil facade that I was able to maintain for most of my life. The fact that pride has filled the gaping hole that had once been occupied by guilt, shame, fear, and frustration, and that I feel free to share my story with a world of strangers here is nothing short of amazing....
I had always expected to complete my transition and fade into the fabric of society like so many of us hope to be able to do; free from the stigma, the label, and the baggage. We struggle to emerge from the battles of our gender transition with some semblance of a life and limp off to rebuild what we can. I have found that very few post-ops remain around to share their experiences and insights. Little by little, however, I have learned that the path I have walked, the lessons I have learned, and the perspective I have gained can be helpful to others, so this is my medium to share.
I have come to realize that being transsexual is just another natural expression of the diversity of life. It's only as odd or as threatening as anyone lets it be. When freed of sensationalism and prejudice it's not a question of morality. It's not a punishment. It's not an illness. No - it's none of those things. It's about my freedom to be me. It's about my right to live my life in a way that seems most natural and comfortable to me. It's the fact that my path to finding inner peace and happiness may be different than yours, but at the same time it's no threat to yours, either. My journey is a testament to non-negotiable nature of human dignity, and the fact that others can't take that from me unless I give it away. The question of whether others can understand or not, or whether others approve or not, is no longer part of that equation.
The goal of sharing my personal experience here, on this website, is not to convince or to justify to a generally un-accepting and intolerant world who or what I am. Others will have their own feelings and opinions about me and my situation that will remain unmoved by anything I try to explain or describe here. I respect their right to have an opinion. Rather, my goal is to foster simple respect for my own right to be myself, and live a happy, dignified life in a way I feel most comfortable.
"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing...." -- Edmund Burke
I share my very personal journey because I have slowly come to learn that I cannot do "nothing". My social consciousness is alive and well so I help as best I can.
I share in hopes that others who face similar struggles in their own lives will gain a sense of courage, confidence, and hope from my journey.
I share in hopes of providing a universally "human" perspective to a public that tends to formulate its views and attitudes on transsexuals based on ignorance, fear, and sensational daytime talk-show depictions.
I share in the confidence that education is the way to battle the hate and ignorance and violence that we endure just for being true to ourselves.
I share in the faith that, in a world where people are flying airplanes into buildings, perspective and reason can still shine, and that simple concepts like honesty, courage, faith, integrity, and compassion can still overcome ignorance, prejudice, and hate.
And I share with the confidence that each of us does have a role to play, and each of us can make a difference.
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This website is dedicated to education, not pornography. It's main theme is one of dignity, not degradation. If you're here for any other reason, please keep on surfing.
For those who are still here:
You may not agree with what I say here....which is fine. You may have a different perspective, or vastly different experiences than those I share here. That is fine, too. I am not here to say everything I did was right, or is some sort of universal truth (I challenge anyone to be able to make such a claim). All I ask is that you please leave your preconceptions and prejudices at the door, and be open to looking at things in a new and different way.
Note: If you know me as a neighbor or a co-worker, and you came across this website because someone told you about it, or even if you somehow stumbled here while surfing, please know that this is here because I feel like sharing it. If you have any desire to chat about anything that you read here, don't be shy about telling me that you've visited my website.
All images and words at donnarose.com are the property of Donna Rose, and may not be copied or used without written permission..